Saturday, June 16, 2007

Marriage Jitters

Apparently, My Sweet Hon has been very busy with work lately. He's clinched something and I am so so proud of him. I always have been. He is so strong-willed, that i admire how he does it.

I'm having the jitterbugs of a bride-to-be...again. There are just so many many things to do. So many plans to make which hasn't been done. But I know where SheZai stands. I am not losing my focus. The mind's eye is so important at this stage. What was the main reason why we decided to tie the knot? It was for our love for each other. We are actually planning for our future, instead of that one day. The future we hold dearly in our hands. The future we are going through Together as one. As 2 me's become a We. My Dear Zaini has been saving so hard all on his own, working on his career, all these just to spend the near future with ME. I must be the luckiest girl alive. Holding his hands i must, I know i am going to sink, sink without him being my bridge across the river. He will always pull me up from the deep deep complexities of the world and just make me think of the simple things in life, to stop and smell the fresh air, to just linger, stay silent and listen to the clouds go by. A relationship can Never be perfect. Never. It takes two. It takes hard work. It takes acceptance, respect, commitment, communication, trust, openness, and the notion that "Just love is not enough" in a relationship. Not disillusionment. Not having the intention to change your partner to suit your "perfect" picture of a spouse. So what if my Zaini dresses like a boy in bermudas and cap? So what if he is still into Nike sneaker shoes and toys? I love him for who he is. Not who i want him to be. I respect him. I respect his life and respect his need to be who he wants to be. Along with the importance of respecting each other is the importance of accepting one another. You are tearing down your spouse's self-image and saying he can't be who he is when you are being critical and asking him to change. You can't change anyone but yourself. Changes come from within, when they see that their behaviours are having a harmful impact on the ones they love. Great Expectations next. You expect your partner to make the first move. You expect your partner to send you home. You expect your partner to get flowers for you. You expect your partner to say sorry and give in when you're mad. You expect so much. So much, but his little heart can only bear none. So Don't expect. Great expectations kill. Keep that in mind, lovers. I know I will, when i envisage SheZai, 60 years down the road, holding hands and kissing as we stroll down the beach together.
The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men.

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